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George Boeree Defenses and coping strategies An occasional lie to support our egos might not be so bad. And as you continue lying, before you know it, you have gone so far from reality that you are faced with nothing but problems. When all those pressures get to be too much, the ego feels overwhelmed, like it's about to be washed away. We all too often feel like we're about to lose control, go out of our minds, go crazy, die The best way of dealing with anxiety is to solve the problems that cause it.

Therapy, in turn, involves re-lighting one's life - a process we might well call "enlightenment!

See a problem?

Sigmund Freud The ego deals with the demands of reality, the id, and the superego as best as it can. But when the anxiety becomes overwhelming, the ego must defend itself.

It does so by unconsciously blocking the impulses or distorting them into a more acceptable, less threatening form. Freud called these techniques the ego defense mechanisms, and he, his daughter Anna Freud rightand other disciples have discovered quite a few.

Denial involves blocking external events from awareness. If some situation is just too much to handle, the person just refuses to experience it.

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As you might imagine, this is a primitive and dangerous defense - no one disregards reality and gets away with it for long! It can operate by itself or, more commonly, in combination with other, more subtle mechanisms that support it. I was once reading while my five year old daughter was watching a cartoon The Smurfs, I think. She was, as was her habit, quite close to the television, when a commercial came on.

bohs Apparently, no-one at the television station was paying much attention, because this was a commercial for a horror movie, complete with tjere knife, hockey mask, and screams of terror. Now I wasn't able to save my child from this horror, so I did what any good psychologist father would do: I talked about it. I said to her "Boy, that was hornet scary commercial, wasn't it? Since then, I've noticed little kids sort gpod glazing over when confronted by things they'd rather not be confronted by.

I've also seen people faint at autopsies, people deny the reality of the death of a loved one, and students fail to pick up their test. That's denial. Repression, which Anna Freud also called "motivated forgetting," is just that: not being able to recall a threatening situation, person, or event. This, too, is dangerous, and is a part of most other defenses.

As an adolescent, I developed a rather strong fear of spiders, especially long-legged ones. I didn't know where it came from, but it was starting to get rather embarrassing by the time I entered college.

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At college, a counselor helped me to get over it with a technique called systematic desensitizationbut I still had no idea where it came from. Years later, I had a dream, a particularly clear one, that involved getting locked up by my cousin in a matre behind my grandparents' house womna I was very young. The shed was small, dark, and had a dirt floor covered with - you guessed it! Serious men only.

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Lately I've been really wanting to be with a women. I've only kissed girls nothing more. I'm down to try it out. We can start off slow, hangout maybe get a drink or talk first. It would be nice to actually be friends with you. As for me. I'm 5'1, average built, face, and have a good personality. I'm girly, I love to dance, get my nails done, go shopping, and just hangout with friends. I would like a girl! That's a must! I prefer Latinas but I'm open. If you're interested me. ❶It does so by unconsciously blocking the impulses or distorting them into a more acceptable, less threatening form.

In "normal" people, the undoing is, of course, more conscious, and we might engage in an act of atonement for some behavior, or formally ask for forgiveness. I confess that whenever I hear someone going on and on about how aggressive everybody is, or how perverted they all are, I tend to wonder if this person doesn't have an aggressive or sexual streak in themselves that they'd rather not acknowledge.

Two of my daughters, growing up with a particularly moody cat, could often be seen meowing, hissing, spitting, and arching their backs in an effort to keep that cat from springing out of a closet or dark corner and trying to eat their ankles. Isolation sometimes called intellectualization involves stripping the emotion from a difficult memory or threatening impulse.

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When I get dressed in the morning, there are so many decisions! This idea begins with Alfred Adler. Undoing involves "magical" gestures or rituals that are meant to cancel out unpleasant thoughts or feelings after they've already occurred.|I do like the softness of lips. We should play guitar together sometime. Feel like getting naughty.

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I had honey first orgasm when I was ten years old. “Great”, I thought to myself, “this book really is helpful”. There was not a single mention of the words masturbation, orgasm, Girls' (and women's) sexuality, on the other hand, always seemed to be Even while other girls my age were having sex with boys in some form.

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